Why I love hearing "No" in meetings
It's not because I'm a masochist.
Most agencies (and the people in them) run screaming from the first sign of a “No.”
The chance a client won’t approve something? The chance the agency doesn’t have the answer immediately? The chance that something can’t be done for a certain budget or timeline?
I’ve seen people tie themselves in knots trying to avoid these scenarios in meetings. Or worse, hamstring themselves before ever getting to the meeting. They’d sooner gargle shards of glass than say or hear the word “No.”
But “No” is my favorite word to hear. Because unlike “Yes”, “No” never lies.
In “No” we trust
Hostage negotiator Chris Voss explains why “Yes” can’t be trusted in his classic Never Split the Difference. He points out that there’s actually three types of “Yes”
Commitment- This is “Yes, I agree.” It’s the one we want. But it’s not necessarily the one we get.
Confirmation- This is the “Yes, I understand what you said” (but don’t necessarily agree). I’ve seen people convince themselves this is commitment when it’s anything but.
Counterfeit- This is a verbal smoke bomb. It’s when they say “Yes” because that’s the easiest way to avoid conflict and get out of the current situation. But this is where, in agency terms, you’ll get an email later saying, “After discussing it a bit more internally we think we need to see more ideas…”
In contrast, consider “No.”
People don’t say “No” when they mean “Yes.” It can always be trusted. It tells the truth.
“No” is honest. And that’s why I love it. Because you can’t get an approval without honesty. There’s no point in getting a “yes” in the meeting if it’s gonna become a “no” down the line.
How to handle “No”
I think the reason most folks would jump out a window to avoid “No” is because they think of it as rejection. But that’s not how I see it.
“No” marks a borderline. It’s a fencepost. A limit beyond which the client feels uncomfortable crossing. That’s not rejection, it’s clarification. Hard data that can be used to better understand how to get a committed “Yes.”
Because once you’ve told me “No” my next step is to understand why. A few possible examples:
They don’t think they can afford it
They don’t understand it
They want something else
They’re not empowered to approve it
Awesome. Yes. Give me that sweet, sweet data. I can work with any of those. They’re not rejections. They’re problems. I eat problems for breakfast. This is advertising, for god’s sake. All we do is solve problems in creative fashion.
It’s not “No” we should be afraid of in meetings. It’s an insincere “Yes.”